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October 8, 2004

Hi, welcome back. 

It’s time to take a break from my preaching and 

We lost another of our great funny men recently.

Roger Dangerfield. He was our professional joke-
teller, so you got jokes and gags, not anecdotes 
about the way it really was. He left behind infinite 
echoes of laughter. 

A selection of Rodney Dangerfield humor, respect it

• I was lost at the beach once and a cop helped 
me look for my parents. I said to him, "You think 
well find them?" He said, "I don't know, kid. There 
are so many places they could hide."

• Once the cops arrested me for jaywalking. The 
crowd shouted, "Don't take him alive!"

• A girl phoned me the other day and said, 
"Come on over; nobody's home." I went over. 
Nobody was home.

• During sex, my wife always wants to talk to 
me. Just the other night she called me from a 

• I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the 
sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

• When I was born, the doctor came into the 
waiting room and said to my father, "I'm sorry. 
We did everything we could, but he pulled through."

• I'm so ugly. I worked in a pet shop, and 
people kept asking how big I'd get.

• With my old man I got no respect I asked him, 
"How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to 
run off a cliff.

• My old man... one time l was kidnapped. 
They sent back a piece of my finger. He said he 
wanted more proof..

• I tell ya I get no respect from anyone. I 
bought a cemetery plot The guy said, "There goes 
the neighborhood!"

• When I was born, I was so ugly that the 
doctor slapped my mother."

• I told my dentist what can I do about having 
such yellow teeth? He said, "Wear a brown tie."

The litany of abuse would be punctuated with the 
occasional “I tell ya, I don’t get no respect. No 
respect at all.” The crowd would cheer.

“I don’t get no respect” was, of course, his 
signature line, but to the end he had the respect, 
and the gratitude, of everybody who ever laughed 
so hard they cried.


Next week we’ll review one of my favorite business 
basics, “Information Integrity.” 

Have a nice day, keep the faith, and stay connected.

Bill Gaw
Business Basics, LLC


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