February 18, 2008

Hi MBBP Subscriber,

It's time to take another break from my preaching. 

One of my favorite comedians was Henny Youngman. Henny died on February 24, 1998, of complications from the flu, only a few weeks shy of 92 years of age. 

When he died the world of standup comedy lost its King. His "shtick" was snappy one-liners, delivered in a rapid-fire, shoot from-the-hip style. 

So take a break, and enjoy some of Henny's classics. 

Have a nice day, keep the faith, and stay connected.  

 
Bill Gaw
bg@bbasicsllc.com 
760-945-5596

Next Week’s Subject: Resource Planning

REMEMBERING HENNY: "Take my wife ... Please!"

Other classics: 

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said "Cough!" 

The doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!" 

The doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?" 

A doctor says to a man, "You want to improve your love life. You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day." Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, "How is your love life since you have been running?" "I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!" 

The patient says, "Doctor it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!" 

A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy!" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!" 

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says. "Okay, let's get started." 

A bum came up to me saying, "I haven't eaten in two days!" I said, "You should force yourself!" 

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it. 

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to. 

A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living." 

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out. 

You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns into a muffler. 

During the war an Italian girl saved my life. She hid me in her basement in Cleveland. 

I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me! 

My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. 

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. 

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?" 

She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mudpack fell off.

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