Six Sigma Manufacturing 

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MANUFACTURING BASICS & BEST PRACTICES BULLETIN

Now serving 7236 subscribers

Competitive Knowledge for Manufacturing People 
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January 31, 2005

Hi [[firstname]], 

It’s time to take another break from my preaching.

Have a nice day, keep the faith, and stay connected.

Bill Gaw

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If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, 
he's the guy who once said: "I woke up one morning 
and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by 
exact duplicates." His mind sees things differently 
than we do - to our amazement and amusement. Here are 
some more of his gems:-

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I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it 
back.

Half the people you know are below average.

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts 
feel so good.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad 
memory.

If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the 
rain.

All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my 
hand.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse 
gets the cheese.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me 
before we met.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

If everything seems to be going well, you have 
obviously overlooked something.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the 
wrong lane.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough 
sense to be lazy.

Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays 
off now.

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her 
friends?

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into 
jet engines.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, 
so I made your horn louder."

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence 
that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of 
thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after 
you need it.

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the 
softness of the bread.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal 
from many is research. 

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no 
lifeguard.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have 
to catch up.

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Business Basics, LLC
6003 Dassia Way, Oceanside, CA 92056

West Coast: 760-945-5596

Manufacturing Knowledge you’ll neither find at 
offsite seminars nor in the books at Amazon.com

Lean Manufacturing - Balanced Scorecard 
ISO 9000:2000 - Strategic Planning - Supply Chain 
Management - MRP Vs Lean Exercises - Kaizen Blitz 
Lean Six Sigma - Value Stream Mapping

All at one Website: http://bbasicsllc.com

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Manufacturing Knowledge you’ll not find at offsite 
seminars nor in the books at Amazon.com

Lean Manufacturing - Balanced Scorecard 
ISO 9000:2000 - Strategic Planning - Supply Chain 
Management - MRP Vs Lean Exercises - Kaizen Blitz 
Lean Six Sigma - Value Stream Mapping

All at one Website: Good Manufacturing Practices

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