Who is Bill Gaw?
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Lean Production Solutions

Lean Production Solutions

REMEMBERING HENNY - “Take my wife ... Please!”
“Gaining a competitive edge.” 


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BUSINESS BASICS & BEST PRACTICES BULLETIN

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Competitive Knowledge for Manufacturing People 
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It’s time to take another break from my preaching.

One of my favorite comedians was Henny Youngman. 
Henny died on February 24, 1998, of complications 
from the flu, only a few weeks shy of 92 years of age.

When he died the world of standup comedy lost its 
King. His "shtick" was snappy one-liners, delivered 
in a rapid-fire, shoot from-the-hip style.

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REMEMBERING HENNY
“Take my wife ... Please!”

Other classics:

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said "Cough!"


The doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying "Mrs. Cohen, your 
check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my 
arthritis!"


The doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" 
"See, what did I tell you?"


A doctor says to a man, "You want to improve your love 
life. You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a 
day." Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The 
doctor says, "How is your love life since you have 
been running?" "I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!"


The patient says, "Doctor it hurts when I do this." 
"Then don't do that!"


A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, 
"You're crazy!" The man says, "I want a second 
opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"


A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, 
"You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk 
says. "Okay, let's get started."


A bum came up to me saying, "I haven't eaten in 
two days!" I said, "You should force yourself!"


Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.


Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.


A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you 
comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."


There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all 
night! Finally, I let her out.


You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns 
into a muffler.


During the war an Italian girl saved my life. She hid 
me in her basement in Cleveland.


I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years. 
If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me!


My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage 
last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, 
a little wine, good food. She goes Tuesdays, I go 
Fridays.


I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her 
way back.


I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our 
anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never 
been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"


She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. 
Then the mudpack fell off.


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 Business Basics, LLC
6003 Dassia Way, Oceanside, CA 92056
West Coast: 760-945-5596

Manufacturing Knowledge you’ll not find at offsite 
seminars nor in the books at Amazon.com

Lean Manufacturing - Balanced Scorecard 
ISO 9000:2000 - Strategic Planning - Supply Chain 
Management - MRP Vs Lean Exercises - Kaizen Blitz 
Lean Six Sigma - Value Stream Mapping

All at one Website: http://bbasicsllc.com

 


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